


In Sleep

by Epitumbidia



Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: Family Feels, Family Fluff, Gen, Sibling Bonding, Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-09 19:29:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11675583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Epitumbidia/pseuds/Epitumbidia
Summary: When Ellone sleeps, dreams are her refuge. They replay lost time that she can't change, but a reminder that she can learn from past mistakes.Written for The Successor Challenge 2017.





	In Sleep

In sleep, time stills.

Ellone moves in time through dreams; sleep grants her time lost from years stolen. Her childhood, her family, her hometown—time is no longer the enemy in sleep, but a refuge.

In sleep, she drifts back to that beach in Centra. The one where a lighthouse marked the last vestige of life on that otherwise dead continent. How old was she then? Barely into double digits in age, yet in the eyes of the children who lived here regarded Ellone with just as much authority as the Matron who ran the orphanage. Still, Ellone was a child like them, but she could speak to Matron with such certainty that Matron—as they’ve all come to simply know her as—would look at Ellone with tender, but knowing eyes. It was only now, after all the madness and warring ended, that Ellone realized why Matron allowed her so many privileges: she was the key to everything, to plans made and replayed over and over again.

Time is power. Time is a dangerous weapon in the wrong hands. But could there every truly be “ _right_ ” hands for such a power?

Ellone was still on that beach, trying to remember if she could still feel the cool of the ocean against her skin in her dreams. The smell of salt came to her the quickest, carried on the soft breeze in the south. A small hand rests on her shoulder, startling Ellone and causing her to flinch slightly. She started turning around when she heard a small gasp and looked up to see his face.

Squall.

He looked scared, but Ellone was used to seeing that face. He was so young then…so starved for intimacy that he couldn’t, or wouldn’t in her eyes, allow to develop with his fellow fosters. If Ellone had one true regret above all else—beyond Raine’s death, beyond being taken and forcing Laguna to rescue her—it didn’t tell Squall the truth of his birth family when they were together for those few short years. Squall wouldn’t have understood then, but that wouldn’t be the goal. Ellone needed to tell him that he was wanted and loved by his parents; tell Squall that his sister may not always be around for reasons far beyond either of their understanding, but that she will always love him. But as she dreamed, time and time again, Ellone wrapped the now crying boy in her embrace and held him.

“I’m sorry…” was all Ellone could say.

“For what?” Squall replied…but the voice was deeper. How…?

“Oh Squall…did I drag you in again? Forgive me, I must be asleep,” Ellone replied, mentally kicking herself for her inability to control this power when her mind needed rest.

She heard a soft chuckle, glad at the sound which showed that he wasn’t angry with her. Ellone had used Squall as a way to fight against time, to try and change what couldn’t be changed. Even with the memories of his—no, _their_ —parents playing before him, she wouldn’t bring herself to tell him the truth before he made the connection himself. The truth hurt too much, his accusation of abandonment echoed in her ears, and even then, she said little to nothing of what Squall truly needed to hear.

But the battle has ended. Now, she had all the time in the world to tell him everything.

“Hey, Sis…I’m thinking of going back to the orphanage, just to visit. I’m wondering, do you want to go too?” There was hesitation laced in the question, his voice reminding Ellone less of the Squall that was hardened from military training and more of the one who spoke to her with such unmasked loneliness.

If only Squall could only _feel_ the joy she held in her heart at that very moment.

“Of course, I’ll come with you. What time is everybody meeting?” Ellone asked, wondering to herself how it was going to feel having all of foster kids together again. Would they build a bonfire while telling stories? Perhaps they’ll sit quietly and fish on the shore, or…

“No, it’ll just be me…and now you, Sis,” Squall replied, the hesitation replaced by the smallest notion of doubt. As though Squall thought that Ellone would ever refuse her brother the time of day.

“Are you scared, Squall?” Ellone asked before catching her. She sincerely hoped he understood her intent was to ease his mind of the current situation and not to dreg up old memories. She continued before he could answer back: “I would love nothing more than to go with you. Just us and the lighthouse. We have so much to talk about.” Ellone waited, tension growing in her mind. Only when Squall laughed, still quietly despite nobody else being there, did she feel the anxiety flow out of her.

“Yeah, we do. There’s so much I want to ask…and it’s still too awkward to ask _him_ about any of that,” Squall finished, all while Ellone imagined the cringe that Squall would’ve worn on his face had they been speaking face-to-face.

Because for all the hurt and guilt Ellone felt about Squall, she couldn’t even begin to imagine how Laguna felt. To look into the eyes of the son he unknowingly abandoned, knowing how he hated to leave people behind. But time was beyond his control and such, he remained where he was needed. Ellone couldn’t speak for Laguna, but she could tell Squall about his mother. Raine, the kind woman who took her and Laguna in when the war as at its bloodiest; Ellone could remember the smell of the aging wood in Raine’s bar, the creaking of the floor when she and Uncle Laguna played hide and seek. When this trip was over, Ellone made a promise to herself to take Squall back to Winhill.

Because after all that’s happened, she can still hardly believe it: time travel, the compression, the remnants of her family fighting back against a witch beyond her imagination…and all of that for the lesson Ellone had to learn the hard way: she could not change the past.

But she could remember what once was and learn from it.


End file.
